That title sounds like these are new thoughts, but, in reality, they are ones that I have been considering for a while now. So, what are they?
Well, the first is that aging alone brings with it the strong possibility for many of us without close family ties of never being touched, physically, that is. No hugs, no arm touches, no kisses. No touch. That might not seem very important to most people, but for those of us who have lost a spouse (for whatever reason), it is an empty space that continues.
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I started this post several weeks ago…and then let it sit. And, then this past week, it came bubbling up again. When I wrote the first intro paragraphs, I was thinking specifically that the touch I was missing was physical touch. And, that was how I thought about it several years ago, when I engaged a masseuse after my return from Scotland. I thought I was treating myself to repair that missing physical touch. And, it did help in many respects.
But most recently, I have come to understand that having someone reach out and use their hand to contact my skin is not just about that physical contact. Touch, for me, doesn’t have to be physical…in fact, I would most often prefer not to have that kind.
Nope, what I have grown to understand is that the touch I miss is the casual, intimate touch of acknowledgement. The kind that lets me know someone understands…that they are there…that I am seen for who I am.
I think that is more rare. But, that is the touch I miss.
Feathers of My Mind 