Observations: mind

I divided my observations post into two parts due to the fact that it would become a book if not separated!

A year of exercise twice a week – focused gym training with weights and straps – led me to recognize a bunch of body changes. However, there have been other changes and challenges, too.

Mostly I have been recognizing these changes just recently, but I still think they have a lot to do with the physical changes.

I am still of a sedentary style. I doubt that I will ever be the Energizer Bunny. It never has been my way. I am a reader and thinker. I mull things over. I lean toward the spiritual and reflective side of things. So…don’t expect me to change the world with action. It is not me, much as I sometimes wish it were.

However, lately I have begun to tire a bit with reading…and bingeing TV. Things that used to entertain me for hours are now feeling boring and dull. Oh, I still occasionally watch reality TV or an occasional old show. And, I still read stories on FB or play games on my phone. But, I am finding that I am also making the choice now to shut those devices off, turn on music (relaxing, healing, smooth jazz) and let that fill my space instead. And I am discovering a feeling of peace and calmness in my home. Even my dog, Darla, will relax to the music.

I am also discovering internal tapes from childhood, that cause me to quit on myself, popping up in exercise. Occasionally it is so bad that I walk away before I am done with the session. But these are not permanent states. It may take me a day or so to recognize their source and to deal with them, but no longer do they rule my life.

Today, I am making better mental health choices. I am still reading. I am still thinking and working through old tapes in my life. But…today I am choosing health and calm and peace. And, someday I may have the words I need to describe the results. Someday…