Talking too much

In Judaism, there is the concept of “lashon hara”…speaking evil. Wikipedia translates this as derogatory speech about another person. Chabad calls it negative talk. MyJewishLearning says it is scandal-mongering (which for me would need more definition). Halachipedia defines it as “any form of speech or communication that may harm someone else emotionally, financially, physically or damage their general reputation”.  Basically, all agree lashon hara is wrong.

Have you ever listened to your own conversation? Especially those conversations among friends or acquaintances? Did you note any times that you were speaking about another person and what was said?  I have. And, in light of this concept, I was not pleased with my side of the conversation.

I do not go out of my way to say something damaging or harmful to another person, present or not. I try to couch my words in a positive or, at least, non-critical manner. Yet, I must admit that sometimes I say things that later do not stand up to my standards…or at least I allow such speech to be without trying to change it. And, it is so easy, when two or more seem to agree about the negative quality of another that they are discussing.

I have tried in the past to be aware of my speech. And, I still find that I try to think of a less negative way to discuss things I do not find pleasant about another; but, the concept of lashon hara allows no speech that is negative, even if it is true, nor is one allowed to repeat or even listen to such speech. This is a very high standard!

I do not truly believe that I will be able to achieve this standard fully. Our speech with each other is so full of bashing another person…of speaking bad of others, often leaving a negative impression with others of that person.  BUT, I can watch my own speech. I can try to remove myself from conversations that engage in lashon hara. I can work on my own self.  I can be conscious of the impact of my speech on others…near or distant.

This is more than not saying something negative, it is an attitude of caring for others more than one’s own need to be a part of the conversation with others. It is a humbling of self…and a caring beyond self.

This blog has not even scratched the surface of this topic, as it has many other implications for how a Jew is to live. It is but a beginning.