I really don't know anymore. Shootings in churches and synagogues, hate for almost any group of people you can name. Me, me, me...in thought and action. Have I lived too long? All this anger and hate and distrust of the other...all this focus on what "I" want or need and "to hell with you"...all this … Continue reading But what can I do? →

One of the signs of recovery for me, after Ed's death, was the return of active dreaming. I have always been aware of my dreams, even if I cannot actually relate them the next morning. Yes, I have tried to write them down immediately upon awakening, but that activity did not last long. You see, … Continue reading Night thoughts →

This week has been filled with many attempts to get things accomplished, without a lot of success. Tuesday, it was the lawnmower. The old one, that Ed owned, had died early in the summer, so I bought a new one. I used it one week, and it broke (my term). I returned it to the … Continue reading Attempts →

Those three words/phrases used in a sentence starting with "you" are often said by someone meaning well but which frequently ends by putting an obligation or requirement upon the person representing the "you". When we are children, it is most often the instruction that comes from a parent or teacher (or other person in authority) … Continue reading Shoulds, oughts and have-tos →

I find myself noticing the many projects around the house and yard that I have begun and not yet finished. In thinking about each, I notice that there are a variety of reasons...not just the one I often attribute to them: "I just get distracted." Yard cleanup. The backyard cleanup that I have been working … Continue reading Unfinished projects →

Today I was working again on raking the pine straw and leaves leftover from Michael's storm. It usually takes me several days to rake up my yard, due to decreased stamina primarily. However, raking is an activity that I like to do because I can see the results. Lots of chores are like that for … Continue reading Changing a bit at a time →

Sometimes I get overwhelmed...with what I need to do, what I don't know how to do, obligations, loneliness...life, in general. That is one of the times that I miss Ed. Several months ago, as I was going about my stressful, unfulfilled, worrisome day, a thought popped into my head. (Does that ever happen to others? … Continue reading Just Breathe →

My life started over again last year. My husband, friend, Master, companion, life partner died. Although Ed died July 15, I was in a daze for several months trying to learn to live but only coping. When January rolled around, I made my usual New Year resolutions, which were aimed at trying to get the … Continue reading Beginnings →

Thanks for joining me! Good company in a journey makes the way seem shorter. — Izaak Walton