Finding Me

Each late fall/winter season I go through a contemplative period where I evaluate my life. This one has thrown me for a loop, but then each one does!

Recently, I took a moment from my TO-DO Schedule and cancelled my plans for a couple of days. During that short period, I vegged with holiday movies and doing small simple things that were sparks of “I need to do that”…the type of things that get put off (e.g. cleaning my water pic machine, clearing up driveway leaves around my trailer, putting up the furnace filter). Little things.

None of them were difficult or took a lot of time. And, each and all were things that nagged at me for not completing. It is amazing to me how much energy those little things released in me when accomplished.

I am proud of me for what I have done this year. I got that trip to Japan completed and learned a lot about myself and thoroughly enjoyed my visit with my friends. I tried with the help of my friends lots of different types of sushi and found that overall I liked each that my friends recommended to me. I had the experience of traveling within a society in which I did not understand a word…not even in the airports! And, yet I managed.

My friends in Japan are missionaries and inspired me to get in touch with my childhood faith. I cam back and developed some reading and space practices that led me to think about my spiritual life. One of the realizations was that I spend a lot of time with reality TV…and TV in general. I have cut out watching TV in my bedroom at night. Instead I read, which doesn’t last long before I an ready to sleep. I have also monitored the type of stuff I read at night in order to promote better sleep and calmer dreams.

My neighbor, Sharon, and I have reestablished our weekly coffee time and. as a side of my Japan trip, a discussion of our spiritual paths. I have found this very meaningful as has she.

It is nearly Christmas now…and Hanukah has ended. I did observe Hanukkah by lighting candles each night and eating fried foods many of the days.

I have survived a luncheon with my exercise group at a country club. I don’t often go to such fancy places, and my social skills are minimal for society functions, but I did survive this meal and had a good time.

I have continued making small changes and choosing to accomplish those pesky things that I notice but then walk on by.

In the new year, I need to make some more major decisions. My yard needs to be revitalized as it is mostly dead. And, my fence in the back of the yard needs to be re-built as well as I need a new gate across the driveway. I suspect both projects will be costly. I am starting this new year with only a small amount of debt, which will make it easier to plan for those projects.

And, I like the me that is coming out of all of this…the small changes and the more responsible me. I am capable. I can make good decisions and small changes that serve me. I am looking forward to the New Year.