I’m Back!

For the past several months, I have taken a hiatus from writing…at least in putting out there into the big world my thoughts and feelings.

I have missed sharing but was in a mental space that felt empty and without hope. And, it was a space without words to share.

It may seem a bit unbelievable, but it wasn’t until recently that I realized that I was on the borderline of being depressed rather than taking time out to re-think life. And, depression is not a place that I want to be or visit!

So, I have taken steps to encourage myself…and here I am.

First, I recognized my situation and that it wasn’t my usual winter hibernating and mulling over of goals and hopes. I realized that politics and the situation of friends and the actions taken by my country’s leaders was beginning to move me toward feeling hopeless. And hopelessness for me is depression.

Second, it was up to me to choose some actions to reverse that slide.

One of the steps I took was to get a journal to help me figure out how to be kind to myself. For this I chose a journal from Switch Research called Self Love. The journal covers 13 weeks and is focused on Intentions and Reflection.

Now I am not one for sitting in a lotus position (In fact, I cannot get my body into that position at all.) and letting my mind go blank (Which it never does!) And most of my reflecting is done in a mulling things over type of manner, over time. It is not a fast process for me. More like a waiting until my spirit figures things out.

But, what I did get inspired to do is to set a daily intention. Now this is marginally different from a to-do list in that it represents not what I want to accomplish but what I think I can achieve. What I have discovered in the first week of use is that sometimes I still find myself not accomplishing all that I intended, but I am choosing not to do so! And, it is usually only one or two things that I make the choice to leave undone.

One of the ongoing intentions that I decided to set is to walk 5 miles per week. Over a year ago, I joined an online walking challenge to walk the North Coast 500 (a Scotland route) over 2 years. I have currently completed 54% of the time and distance. I have 333 days (~47.6 weeks) left to complete this challenge. And at 5 miles/week, I will complete the remaining 226 miles in 5 miles/week within slightly more than 45 weeks! I can do this!!!

So far, this first week of my intention, I have completed 3.6 miles. I am very proud of that even though I still have 1.4 miles to go. I have 3 days to accomplish that! Very do-able.

Second, I made a decision to join Hungryroot for a few meals a week. This plan allows the purchaser to select the cuisines desired. I chose Pescatarian since I like fish and would not need to be concerned whether there is dairy in the dish. My cuisine choices allow me to try foods that I might not normally try.

And, I have eaten well and enjoyed wonderful meals. And, since the smallest meals serve two, I have plenty of food for several meals. And prep time is minimal as is cooking time. For a non-cook, it has been a delight!

Third, I have been pleasantly surprised to experience some spontaneity, like sitting outside while reading and burning debris and suddenly wanting to try to capture the smoke in the sunlight. So…I ran to get the camera…something that I had not done for 10 months. Something that I had hoped to do this year but had not yet found time or motivation to do.

Another spontaneous act was to clean the dryer outlet…which helped my dryer to function more efficiently and only took moments.

I know it has only been a week…and one of my weaknesses is that I have good intentions and poor long-term follow-through. So, I am hoping, that by telling the world through this blog, that I will have better long term results.