I have been amazed at the impact of my dog’s death on my life…my home…my days. My home feels so empty…even more than it did when my husband died; because at that time, I still had the dog. Now it is just me in this house…this house which had become a new home after Ed passed. Now I have to find how to make it a home again.
I spent this past weekend full of anxiety over the weather and cancelling my plans for a hike…and hibernating in my bedroom, the only room that felt welcoming to me. Depression? Maybe, but I really think it was mourning. Missing the sense of another being in the house. And, the living room with vaulted ceiling just felt too empty!
After writing the above two paragraphs, I decided to get back out there. Two weeks have passed. In that time, I have done three hikes. The first was at the Audobon Foraging Ponds, whose trail is only about a mile…and my goal is 2+ miles each hike this month. As a result, I criss-crossed around the three ponds. I got some great pics and saw my first Robin of the year…and a sunbathing young alligator. I also found the mom in the water! And, I had a phone call from my brother while I was enjoying my time there. Nice day! 2+ mile goal attained.
The second hike was at Phinizy Swamp. It turned out to be an almost 4 mile hike, because two large alligators blocked my return path and caused me to create a detour! I was so tired when I finally reached my car. Everything hurt, from toes to head. I was proud of myself; but the hike stirred up the costochondritis of my rib cartilage, so it took me a few days to fully recover.
I had taken lots of incredible pictures during that week. But, I lost over 100 of them when I uploaded them to my computer. Have no idea where they went or if they imported, but I had wiped the camera disc as it was full…and so lost it all!
So the third hike was to try to recapture some of them in the same place, Phinizy Swamp…the next day after that big hike! Not particularly smart due to rib discomfort, but I did it. Got and uploaded successfully some good pics, although I can’t recreate what I lost. This time the hike was back in the 2+ mile range.
I still want to get in one more hike this month…but I am back. I have started planning for my yard and garden (albeit late), enjoying attempting to take pictures with my camera (although mostly in auto mode), and getting out on hikes. My confidence is improving in my abilities for both hiking and using the camera.
And, I have discovered a renewed interest as well as frustration in genealogy. Seems the Dean side of my maternal family is resistant to sharing themselves with me as I am having the dickens of a time finding documentation of birth, death and marriages! Still it is a puzzle, and I love puzzles!
Life goes on, y’all.
Feathers of My Mind 