My blog is called Feathers of My Mind, because like bird feathers which appear at random intervals in my life, so are my thoughts and dreams and hopes. Gently floating into my life…sometimes scattering in the breeze, but there when I take time to notice.
Lately I have been noting a change in my energy level. Activities in the past that would leave me exhausted no longer have that effect. I am doing nothing physically different. Eating the same. Yet, it has and is occurring. So I am attributing it to the end of active grieving. Is it possible that grief alone could have such an effect for so long? I think so.
Also under the category of “what have I done to attribute to this change?” is the fact that my new primary care MD has reduced my cholesterol med. Now I might guess that this change is related somewhat to my new eating habits since Ed’s death. (My meals are simpler, more often contain fish, and not as heavy at every meal.) My weight is down, too.
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I am surrounding myself with people I choose to have in my life. Some are new…and getting to know them is full of possibility. Some are more familiar to me. I am still a bit insular in that my own life and change is of great importance to me…but I am starting to make those baby steps of being more interested in those who surround me.
I have never been very good with getting to know new people. I think, because I often felt like questions about my life were intrusive, I failed to ask people questions about their lives…and so ended up not knowing anyone very well. If others like to talk about themselves as much as I seem to do these days (is it a reflection of being lonely?), surely I can ask about their lives without making them feel I am intruding!
Feathers of My Mind 