Today I was working again on raking the pine straw and leaves leftover from Michael’s storm. It usually takes me several days to rake up my yard, due to decreased stamina primarily. However, raking is an activity that I like to do because I can see the results. Lots of chores are like that for me.
When I rake, I choose a section and rake into one pile. Usually it is a small one. Then I move onto another section, never letting the piles get too big. Periodically, I take my tarp and move from pile to pile, raking them onto the tarp to move to the fire pit. I like both the sense of more and more of the yard getting cleared as evidenced by the many small piles and the look of the yard when all those raked piles are moved to the fire pit.
When I think of the changes I have made in the past year and the ones I am planning now, it is kinda like the raking. I do a little bit on several areas and then I combine those areas to finish off that particular change.
Some are in the combining section: clearing my house of clutter and old stuff, moving things on by donation to others. These are the activities that I started after Ed’s death. I went from room to room (over time) and cleared it of old stuff that was broken, battered or just no longer wanted. I replaced old lampshades, removed old desk and chest of drawers, rearranged rooms, got pictures framed, etc. I also gave away clothing that would no longer be used. Generally sorting, clearing, and deciding what to change.
Several areas of my life are in the small piles section of change: cooking, spiritual home, reading (the genres and amount), diet, activities. These are the areas in which I am continually working, sometimes daily and sometimes weekly. Just a comment about the reading: I love it. But, since my retirement, I have hidden from the knowledge of death by reading voraciously. And, I read everything. However, in the past year, I found that I could no longer concentrate enough to read the horror and suspense type genres and opted for cozy mysteries and other lighter reads. I also found that my time to read was limited by my need to take care of my home and body (i.e., cooking, yard work). It bothered me at first. Now it just is. Yes, I now read more than just cozy mysteries, but, I do not read 5 books at once and frequently I have days I do not read. So…small piles section for reading.
Some are in the raking section: Sabbath observance, recycling, geneology, blogging, updating my wardrobe/look. These are things that I have yet to do much about other than deciding to do them or thinking about them or initial activity on the decision. Sabbath observance: I was taught a very strict observance. So much of my life since that teaching has been far from what I learned. I am not sure how far back I can return as I do not live in an observant community and thus have to find my way with a bit of compromise for now. Recycling: I am starting with plastics. I need to find out from my local recycling center what plastics they accept. I also need to take action on that permanent straw decision. I am not using them in restaurants, but fast food drinks while driving demand a straw or otherwise extra clothes when I get where I am going! So far I can only say that I have reduced straw usage. Geneology: I have started working on Ed’s branch of the tree as well as the Stull and Wendler sections of my branch. Blogging: Well, I am starting that activity here. I used to journal a lot before I got married. I think this is just a newer type of journaling. Updating wardrobe and look: When my siblings and I went through Mom’s apartment (she moved into a nursing home), I took her picture albums. In looking through them, I was stunned to find that my look…and, to some degree, the actual clothing…was unchanged since 1991! That is 27 years!!! Also while spending time with my siblings, I noticed how put together my sister and sister-in-law looked. Well, those two facts made me feel very orphaned…like I was stuck at the ages of 30-40. So, I decided to make changes. Due to my fixed income, I could not afford to throw everything away and just start over. And, since I do not like to shop, I did not see myself going to the stores. I was able to look at my clothing and pick a few items that either did not fit well…you know, a little tight in the shoulders or across the breast. In that process, some items moved from “the give away pile” to the “keep for now pile”, but a lot of them stayed in “the give away pile”. Second, I remembered the fun I had when I used a personal shopper many, many years ago (when I lived in NJ). The limited choices made the shopping less stressful. So…I tried Stitch Fix. I have only received one box, but I kept two of the clothing items plus a bracelet and socks. And, I am looking forward to the next box. What I like about this so far is the ability to tell them what I liked and didn’t like about the choices and also the suggestions the stylist gave for use of the clothing to create looks. I also like that I can tell them how frequently to send a new box, so that I can manage my budget better. And, I got up my nerve to visit a little store whose dresses (hanging outside) appealed to me. The result of the visit? I have a new dress that was on sale! And, I have pink hair! I did it for Breast Cancer month, but it will last a while. I always wanted to try a bright hair color, but didn’t have the nerve. I sorta like it, although it surprises me every time I look in the mirror! Lots of changes started in the appearance pile!
And, some areas are yet to be raked. Those are the ones that will pop up as other changes take place. Those, perhaps, are the ones deep inside that need something else to change first. Like the yard, I may be on a journey of always raking…just that each leaf and piece of pine straw that I rake in the future will be a new one taking an old one’s place.
Oh, well. Change is constant, much like dust. (Have I said how much I hate dusting!) It is just that I am choosing some changes. On with the journey.
Feathers of My Mind 